The Dad Request

Over the last year, my son has had bouts of frustration and sadness because he doesn't have a daddy, and he wants one. I figured out the hard way, during one of these recent conversations, that redirecting him or making light of this issue is no longer a viable option and now I just have to hear him out and do a lot of hugging. For a while, he would often cry about it, telling me it's not fair and that I need to go out and get married so he can have a dad. I remember this being one of my biggest fears when I chose to become a mom on my own. It certainly had never been my plan to be the only parent if I ever had a child, and several times during my pregnancy I wondered if I'd inadvertently put this horrible, dad-less burden on my child-to-be. But I also knew that he wouldn't "be" at all, if I had done this any other way. And a father has not abandonded him in any way. I knew that someday, he'd understand that I was meant to be his mom and he my son. And that our family, small as it is, is a wonderful, loving family. And I knew he'd have cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, family friends, and a whole host of people who would love him and care for him. All of this has come true. The part where he will understand one day, just hasn't happened yet. So for now, I listen, we hug and mop the tears and move on.