Wednesday, September 11, 2013

What are you prepared for?

 I was really prepared for so much to change in my life, but I was completely unprepared for how unsettled I'd be. Though I do think some of this is just transitional, because there is really nothing more profound and impactful than bringing a baby into your life. Still, I was under the impression that I'd be adjusting my life to fit my baby, not suddenly feeling like I wanted to totally reinvent myself and my life. That has come as a surprise. There are parts of me now that think a nice little house in a quiet neighborhood wouldn't be awful, and commuting isn't the worst thing I have to do in order to take him to great childcare everyday (don't ask me about it at 730am, however). But then there are parts of me/my life that I'm suddenly desperate to clean up, clear out and change altogether. As though having a baby wasn't big enough? This isn't a new feeling for me, but I really thought I'd get over that constant, nagging, underlying dissatisfaction with where I am and the need to always think about where I'm going. What is clear is that I need to get current - with finances, with my household, with my jobs, and with friends. I feel like perhaps I'm on the cusp of a mega spring (life) cleaning. What is new for me is that for the first time, I really don't have a plan for the changes. It's both uncomfortable and scary, but also, a wee bit exciting to think about what's possible.

And really, this is the face I wake up to every morning. So I should probably just shut up and enjoy every moment with him.


4 comments:

  1. Hello,
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    ReplyDelete
  2. Well Written !! Infact, the couples who think they’ve not been able to wish for one because of their infertility actually need good advices from IVF and Surrogacy clinics. I’d really recommend Alta Bates Clinic to all who need IVF.
    Would like to mention again, you doing a Fab work!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh yes, I Forgot, HopefulMama you can visit the website at abivf.com !

    Thanks!

    ReplyDelete