Monday, January 30, 2012

Trying - finally!

Today I did my first round of IUI - I am officially Trying To Conceive!

For 8 months I've been on the journey actively and today I finally was able to go in and have the intrauterine insemination procedure.My mom went with me, and I was grateful to have her there, not only for my support, but also because most grandmas can't tell their grandchildren they were present, in the room at the point of conception. And though I think that's probably a little weird to say, honestly since none of this is conventional anyway, it adds even more depth and sweetness to the story that may be my child's some day. Everything feels a bit surreal now. First, it's not that comfortable a procedure, but though I'm a little crampy, I am fine and can do any normal activity. I'm resting on the couch because while I'm fine and those little buggers are up about as far as they can get - every time I sneeze I think NO! KEEP SWIMMING! I can't be too precious with myself for more than tonight so I'm giving in. And then, it's hard to wrap my head around the fact that I have some stranger's sperm inside me - by choice, from a tube and paid for by me. For most of my teenage/adult life I've taken precautions to NOT let that happen. And yet, here we are. (TMI you say? Yeah sorry about that but really what's sacred at this point in the process?) Not that I wanted to in the slightest, there is still that point when you realize there is no turning back now! Though this may not take, I still feel total optimism for the first time in 8 months. There is no reason it shouldn't, that I know of, and the outcome is certainly nothing I can control, so I've done everything I can up to this point and now it really is out of my hands for at least the next two weeks. It's a bit of a relief actually.

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