Decisions

I mentioned in my last post that I've been feeling really distracted from my baby-making project by all the things going on in my life right now. Things haven't exactly slowed down, but they have shifted a bit which has allowed me a little more time to start thinking again. My goal is to pick a donor from a local cryobank by December 1, but I've continued to look once in a while to see if anyone new has been added to the list online. In reading about how other single moms-to-be choose, some women have donor picking parties, or some choose a donor almost as if they were about to actually date that person, some pick a donor that is a similar physical match to them. But one gal wrote of not putting too much time and obsessive energy into choosing, and that spoke to me. It feels like the most important decision I might ever make, and I have a few criteria of course, yet, I have very little control over anything other than what's presented on paper. And most of these guys are pretty young so I'm guessing their knowledge of extended family medical history is slim - at best. They're probably not calling up their mothers for more detailed information to add to their sperm donor profiles. So I can only go with what the clinic is assuring me and what the donor has offered up as truth. The clinic does give a brief staff observation of each donor (usually cheesy), the medical history, the basic stats and some answers by the donor himself to questions about his family life, education, strengths and goals, and a baby picture. I have found it interesting to judge a person by his baby picture, because how crappy is that? But I have been doing it. I have actually said to myself things like, "No that kid looks like he'd be a bully," or "no, that kid looks like he'd get his ass kicked a LOT." Deplorable. But what else am I going to do? I kind of have to take it all in and just go with my basic gut reaction. And with that said, it seems I keep coming back to the same donor every time I search, and I think I've found the one for me. His clear, concise and mature answers (with correct spelling and usage of grammar) to the questionnaire - especially about how he loves his family - sold me. That, and of course, his baby picture.