Starting the Process

I am early in this process. And here is how it begins.

The Charting:
I take my basal temperature every morning before I get out of bed. Every single morning. I chart these temps in order to see the timing and pattern of ovulation in my menstruation cycle so that when it comes time, I'll know the optimum window in which to inseminate. For just about each day the first month of this I would have a quick and easy little nightmare, just moments before my alarm would go off, in which I had completely forgotten to take my temp or where I had already taken it and that was the end of the world apparently (or I was having coffee with *Karl Urban*. Actually, wait, that wasn't so nightmarish.) and then I would wake up totally flustered. Great way to start the day. I'm better now. Not so freaked out about screwing that part up anymore.

The Clinic: 
I went to see a Nurse Practitioner at a local women's clinic. She was so great and filled in the blanks I had remaining from my own research and reading. It was a good consultation, I liked her and was feeling pretty good, until she told me that my first step with them would be to take the FSH Day 3 Test and that if I had too high a number, our journey together would automatically end and she would have to recommend fertility specialists in the area. I knew about the test, and about the Follicle Stimulating Hormone, but honestly hadn't figured out that it's a pretty significant number on it's own. I saw it as part of a whole picture, which is kind of true. It basically tells me about how good or not so good my body is at producing eggs. The lower the number the better. And if I get 11 or above, it would be a deal-breaker with this clinic. They do artificial insemination but it's only a very small percentage of their work, so they are very low-tech and aren't set up to assist with fertility issues. There is a strong likelihood based on the fact that 11 is  a pretty low number on that spectrum, and on my age, that I'm about to get dumped. All of a sudden, this is like dating. Except I have to pay for it all. Super.

Flexible, patient, and cautious optimism. Some days this is easier than others, and some days it totally sucks. But the bottom line is that if I can continue to see through all the processes to the end goal of having a baby, I can manage the sucky days.