School

Deciding on preschool for my son (who started a few days before his 3rd birthday) was hard, but the decision had a LOT to do with pricing, open hours, and location, and the tough, emotional part was transitioning him from a loving homecare situation into a more institutional one. Ultimately, that resulted in a place near home that was okay overall, but had several teacher transitions and lots of teacher upset over the 2 years he was there. By the time he was done, he had been over it for months - but it wasn't an easy transition out from there and into a huge public Kindergarten. I moved us a few months before so he could attend in a particular school district known to be very good. I was completely unprepared for my angst beyond that first day of school. I thought, he'll go, I'll cry and then, because he is such a great, communicative, social kid, he will be fine! He'll adjust! He'll fall in line! He will LOVE it! But the first semester was an emotional roller coaster for us both. The school struggled to get its act together, and so did my kid - I honestly didn't know up from down for many weeks. It was December before it really felt like we all had found our footing, and to be honest, I still don't know that I believe it's been that great. When I visit school or we attend functions, it's obvious he is as well-known and well-liked as one could expect among the other 200 Kinders, so I feel that some of his meltdowns are just a byproduct of being 6. But I also feel like, as the overflow program for the district, his Kindergarten experience has not been what I'd hoped for him.

In the fall, he'll start at his "home" school. All the first graders will have come from the overflow program, so he'll know quite a few friends when he gets there. I think that will be an advantage, and I'm grateful for at least that. But he (and I) will once again, have to transition and adjust and we'll both need to re-establish ourselves to a whole new staff and campus. As a planner, I'm already getting anxious about it.

As someone who went to 7 schools from Kinder to high school, I am close to desperate to NOT have to make him transition anymore, other than graduating to the next level. He should have roots, he should trust where he is and what comes next. He should be able to build friendships, and mentoring and community relationships, for the longterm. It's a daunting idea as the cost of living here doesn't seem to be abating. I am not sure what sacrifices I'll need to continue to make to keep him here. I want him to experience the possibility of being considered first because he hasn't just moved here and he is known. I want him to grow without needing to start over again and again, at all those crucial social and education developmental moments. I think it's hard for some to understand, and I often get 'he'll adjust' as a response to my anxiety. But here is the thing, I know how it feels - and some of us carpe diem and some of us get severely crapped on, along the way.

For now, all I can do is wait (and go to therapy). I am hopeful that my experience thus far will help me navigate the systems and make the transition for us both much easier.