Checking off the list

Now that we're less than 10 weeks away from my full-term due date, I'm finally able to start checking certain really big things off my list. 

So, first I arranged my maternity leave with work. I was really scared to only be able to take 6 weeks, but it looks like with some maneuvering, I'll get to take at least 8 and potentially 10. Not that it will ever be long enough, but it doesn't feel quite as scary as it first did. 

Then Mom and I did the hospital tour last night and, as soon as I stopped freaking out, I did okay. There was a moment when I first walked into the birth center when I was pretty damn sure I wanted to have NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY OF THIS!!!  The reality of it all sort of hit me like a ton of bricks and I had a small quiet, hopefully unperceptible, meltdown while we were touring. But I didn't run, so I consider it a win.Plus I think she posted my dad at the door so I wouldn't have gotten very far anyway:) Then my haloed parents took me to coffee so I could meltdown a bit more. I know I'm supported and loved, but to quote my dad who quoted someone else, "This is a BIG F*ING DEAL!" Which also made me feel better, because it really is. Everything about my world is about to change - for the better, yes - but change entirely still.And it's a lot to absorb, or at least to absorb with some sort of grace. I'll get there because I have to and because I always do eventually, but sometimes it's a slow burn for me to emotionally grasp what I intellectually 'got' eons ago. Truthfully, the tour was good, the hospital is great, and the staff seem totally on their game - and it's five minutes from my home. All in all, a good thing. 

Next up is finishing getting my own stuff and the baby's stuff in line at home. Soon...