Wednesday, March 21, 2012


Wow - this thing is a major distraction from everything else I'm supposed to be thinking about and doing in my life right now. I:
  • Want so badly to confirm it with a medical professional, though the signs are all still pretty good, so I go this afternoon to get lab work done. 
  • Made my first prenatal appointment with an OB at a hospital  in my neighborhood. Will go at 9 weeks and apparently also get my first ultrasound. Exciting!
  • Find myself between really wanting to totally tell everyone so I don't have to hold it in anymore and now being way more scared than I thought I would be of all the conversations I will have to have about choosing single motherhood. I'm in a very safe place at the moment - having chosen specifically those that I want to know. Plus, I really hate being the center of attention in most ways - and this thing has already created some weird, uncomfortable moments for me, with the people I trust and love. I have some time to figure this out as I don't plan to tell anyone else until after that ultrasound and finding out all systems are go. 
  • Feel like I want/need to talk about it all the time, and this is another point where doing it on my own isn't as fun. Everyone else has their own life - so me carrying on and on must just be a huge pain in the ass. But I can't help it! It's so new, and I can't quit thinking about it, and I'm actually a little scared right now so talking it through is really helpful.
  • Am a little anxious about the symptoms I could start having at any time in the next few weeks. I'm hoping I'll be a rock star, but once again, it would be easier to manage if I could know what's coming specifically and when. So Type A about this stuff. Then again, symptoms would also help me feel better about this being TRUE! I'm crazy, I know. 
That's all for now. One day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time...

Grow grow grow!!!

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