Monday, February 13, 2012

Starting over

I know for sure now that I am not pregnant this time around. I'm bummed, but I guess not totally surprised. And honestly am totally relieved to finally know. I'm such a weirdo - not knowing is almost harder for me than it not happening. It's such a long shot on the first try and if after several it still isn't happening, I guess it will be time to seek out fertility assistance, but I'm really hoping to not have to go there. My plan has never been to risk, other than naturally, getting pregnant with multiples if I don't have to. And when you add ovulation boosters in the mix, you up those chances significantly.

On we go. I'll schedule my next appointment with the clinic for two weeks from now and try, try again. Now that I've gone through one full round of this process, I think this next round will be easier somehow. I will still have to wait, but I will have a better chance of filling that time and fretting less, not reading into every single little thing. I wanted to find a quote that inspired me to pick up and try again - but everything I found used the word 'fail'. This isn't a failure, it's nature. Nature never fails, it just decides when the time is right. So I'll go to my old standby -

"Adopt the pace of nature, her secret is patience." 
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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