Saturday, February 23, 2013

First week back full-time

This past week was my first going back to full-time days. It wasn't horrible, but there were moments that sucked, royally. When I dropped him off, I felt a little choked up the first couple of days, but honestly the woman that cares for him, and her family, is so lovely that I am not worried about his days too much. And then during the daytime while I was at work, I had moments and twinges of sadness and longing to hold my baby, but again the woman who cares for him (let's call her B) answers any update requests I text and sent me the very sweetest picture of him one of those days (see below). And you know how 'they' say a picture is worth a thousand words?

Photo: Happy boy:-) 

So, obviously, I was reassured that he was doing fine while I was at work, which was helpful. And at the end of my work days I quite seriously walk/ran to my car in order to go pick him up - I was SO excited. And 3 out of the 4 days, when I walked in the door and he took a look at me, he gave the saddest pout and started to really cry. Crying that he rarely does unless he's startled or something has pained him. It is very likely that since on those days he didn't have an afternoon nap, he was just overtired and somehow seeing me triggered the tears. But I have to say, each of those times, once he was in the car and settled and we were on our way home, I bawled. My feelings were terribly hurt. And then, within 5 minutes of walking through our front door, he was my smiley, cuddly boy again, so I recovered - sort of. I was somewhat prepared for him to cry when I left him in the morning, which he never did, but was utterly unprepared for him to cry when I returned. Heartpain. 


  1. Awww, I feel for you. It DOES get better, though. Believe it or not. And I'm sure you are making the most of every moment with him, and that's what really matters.

    1. Thanks girl! It is getting better for sure, but I still wish there was more time to spend with him. I think I might always feel that way (check back with me when he's a teenager!!!) xo