I can hardly believe (I should count how many times I've used that phrase or something similar in this blog...) that on Monday, I go back to work. While there have been a few seemingly endless nights or moments when I've felt utterly claustrophobic while nursing for what felt like days on end, mostly, the time has just flown by and though my brain knows it's time to go back, my heart feels like it's being squeezed in a vise. But I have found a good in home daycare for my boy and trust he'll be safe and nurtured while away from me and being a single parent, there is no other option but for me to work full time so I know it's what I have to do. I just feel so lucky to have spent every single day with him since he was born - for all but about 5 hours - and wish I could have more time. There remains little doubt in me that most mothers feel this way when returning to work and every day thereafter.
About this blog: I don't know how many people actually read it. It was meant to be a chronicling of my journey as a single woman to get pregnant and to have a baby on my own. Primarily because of all the literature on choosing single motherhood (and there isn't really that much) personal blogs helped me the most along the way, and I hoped this might do the same for someone - and it was also a way to update those in my life on the journey so I would have someplace to send them instead of having to explain myself constantly. Then my intention turned to a chronicling of my journey that I would someday be able to give to my son. And once he was born, that seemed to be where I might end my 'online' story. But now I'm not so sure. So I will continue as I have time - and let the story evolve as it will.
My beautiful boy turns 11 weeks old tomorrow. He is my little love bug - so sweet and cuddly. I am so happy I went through all that I did to have a baby on my own - I truly have made my family. And if ever there was a reason to recommend not letting life pass you by, here it is -