Monday, March 26, 2012

Abstract vs. Concrete & The Sweet Pea

So, I'm officially 6 weeks now - which in the grand scheme is still super early. And though I definitely am feeling the changes in my body, I'm still having a tough time not keeping this at an arm's length. I think I'm self protecting, because it is so early. And because of how I am, my desperate need to prepare for the worst and hope for the best is kind of rearing it's ugly head. So far, when I receive a gift or people around me get super excited to hear that I'm having a baby, it still kind of feels like they're talking about someone else. And I have this need to settle them down, just in case things go awry, so they don't feel too bad. My mom is right though, I have stop saying it feels abstract, and have to start having hope and the belief that it will all be fine. If it isn't, then I really just have to cross that bridge if I come to it. But for now, I'm trying to say 'we' and talking to the little being growing inside me that is, this week, the size of a Sweet Pea. At some point, even if not quite today, I believe I'll be able to stop calling it  the fruit or vegetable that is comparable to it's size, and be able to call it a baby!

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